The truth is I have been watching my mother die for a year now. It's excruciating and tragic and awful.
Once of a true singularity of emotional destruction, she is now diminished. Her body is giving out on her, the fight in her all gone.
She often made everyone around her so angry, hurt, and confused. She lived a loss of depression and sadness, and created chaos to have a sense of control.
Often petty childish, she drove many people away. There are only a few of us left.
And now it's almost over. Days, maybe weeks. No more.
She's ready to go. I'm ready to let go. Extending her life with aggressive treatment only seems cruel. Give her comfort, let her rest.
And soon, I will reach the moment that I have been inching towards for nearly 29 years. She will be gone. I will have done everything possible to maintain a relationship with her... to love her in spite of her.
She will be gone soon, and I will be here. I will have done something that others could not do...
...I will have survived her.
-The Hippy
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
It happens in slow motion...
The truth is I have been watching my mother die for a year now. It's excruciating and tragic and awful.
Once of a true singularity of emotional destruction, she is now diminished. Her body is giving out on her, the fight in her all gone.
She often made everyone around her so angry, hurt, and confused. She lived a loss of depression and sadness, and created chaos to have a sense of control.
Often petty childish, she drove many people away. There are only a few of us left.
And now it's almost over. Days, maybe weeks. No more.
She's ready to go. I'm ready to let go. Extending her life with aggressive treatment only seems cruel. Give her comfort, let her rest.
And soon, I will reach the moment that I have been inching towards for nearly 29 years. She will be gone. I will have done everything possible to maintain a relationship with her... to love her in spite of her.
She will be gone soon, and I will be here. I will have done something that others could not do...
...I will have survived her.
-The Hippy
Once of a true singularity of emotional destruction, she is now diminished. Her body is giving out on her, the fight in her all gone.
She often made everyone around her so angry, hurt, and confused. She lived a loss of depression and sadness, and created chaos to have a sense of control.
Often petty childish, she drove many people away. There are only a few of us left.
And now it's almost over. Days, maybe weeks. No more.
She's ready to go. I'm ready to let go. Extending her life with aggressive treatment only seems cruel. Give her comfort, let her rest.
And soon, I will reach the moment that I have been inching towards for nearly 29 years. She will be gone. I will have done everything possible to maintain a relationship with her... to love her in spite of her.
She will be gone soon, and I will be here. I will have done something that others could not do...
...I will have survived her.
-The Hippy
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
Blogging from Wireless Phones...
I'm blogging from my phone. This is a technology that is going to change civilization. Instantly published whining. Totally amazing.
-The Hippy
-The Hippy
Blogging from Wireless Phones...
I'm blogging from my phone. This is a technology that is going to change civilization. Instantly published whining. Totally amazing.
-The Hippy
-The Hippy
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Friday, July 6, 2007
I'm getting old...
Where is the threshold between being in your late twenties and being almost thirty?
I think it may be the ten year high school reunion. It's next month.
What should I wear, given that I will officially be almost thirty?
-The Hippy
I think it may be the ten year high school reunion. It's next month.
What should I wear, given that I will officially be almost thirty?
-The Hippy
I'm getting old...
Where is the threshold between being in your late twenties and being almost thirty?
I think it may be the ten year high school reunion. It's next month.
What should I wear, given that I will officially be almost thirty?
-The Hippy
I think it may be the ten year high school reunion. It's next month.
What should I wear, given that I will officially be almost thirty?
-The Hippy
There is something in the air?
I feel a disturbance in the force. Something big is coming. Can't tell if it's good or bad.
There is something in the air?
I feel a disturbance in the force. Something big is coming. Can't tell if it's good or bad.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Happiness is found in the simple things...
It's actually quite amazing how things change so quickly. My entire life I have been resistant to change, carefully avoiding anything that might upset the precarious balance of emotional stability that allowed me to function. I didn't like changes to my environment, even if the changes we positive.
I am happy to report that dealing with change has become a farr less scary prospect for me of late. Situations in my life have changed, and I have changed. Some of these changes have been full scale life changes. Some of them have been almost trivial.
I don't wish to under play the sense of loss I feel, for it is very real. But, for the first time ever in my life, I feel in control of my life, my environment, my emotions, and my future.
The life I have lived has made me who I am, and I am grateful for it. For everyone who has ever wished for me to be happy and healthy, you need to know that I am doing better than I ever have been. And that, hopefully, makes you happy in turn.
-The Oklahoma Hippy
I am happy to report that dealing with change has become a farr less scary prospect for me of late. Situations in my life have changed, and I have changed. Some of these changes have been full scale life changes. Some of them have been almost trivial.
I don't wish to under play the sense of loss I feel, for it is very real. But, for the first time ever in my life, I feel in control of my life, my environment, my emotions, and my future.
The life I have lived has made me who I am, and I am grateful for it. For everyone who has ever wished for me to be happy and healthy, you need to know that I am doing better than I ever have been. And that, hopefully, makes you happy in turn.
-The Oklahoma Hippy
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