We need you to JOIN THE ARMY.
I swear to God, it just a coincidence. Look I know that it may seem that everyone got greedy and you can't afford health insurance because it got too expensive because the insurance companies are not getting the returns on their stock investments they once did and because pharmaceutical companies charge so much for pills that don't cure anything but treat symptoms forever but no body wants to say anything because pharmaceutical companies throw great fundraisers and some of same insurance companies are invested in the same pharmaceutical companies and everyone's getting nervous because now it turns out that Vioxx can kill you and while everyone was worried wondering how they would go to the doctor it seems the oil industry used it's influence with the administration to orchestrate a corporate war to take the Iraqi oil fields and reap huge profits while the price of gas doesn't get any cheaper and now you need to go over to Iraq so we can stay long enough to get 14 permanent military bases built so we can start systematical using the US military to subjugate the entire region will letting North Korea build a nuclear arsenal and if you want the health insurance you don't have now because of the greed of pharmaceutical companies and insurance companies that the army seems like the only way you'll be able to afford Tommy's ADD Medication and Sallt's braces as if it was done intentionally to and maliciously knowing you would be put in the agonizing position of being forced to join the military and fight a war based on lies just to be sure you're kids are taken care of... But that's not what it is. The Army wants you to be all you can be. That's all.
It's clear what you have to do. You love this country. You know you do. You have to. You're a Republican. You've been telling those guys at work what a WONDERFUL MAN George W. Bush is. You've been so sure that the Lord made him President to save us from Arabs and Liberals. You hate terrorist scum, and you love NASCAR. You love cold beer and twins. You like the Super Bowl and there's no way you're going to let no terrorists or gays or commies take it away from you, goddammit!
Well, I'm glad you feel that way. The country needs you help. It's really easy and most people can do it, because we're desperate, and willing to ignore the rules.
It comes with all kinds of great benefits!
Look here:
Money!
Every Soldier in the Army earns money and benefits for their service. Whether you're an Officer or an enlisted Soldier--on Active Duty or in the Army Reserve--you are paid for your work. You're provided with housing and meals if you live on post or money to help pay for them if you live off post. Depending on your Army job and situation, the Army offers many different bonuses and allowances for basic living needs.
Some jobs in high demand with bonuses may include:
Fire Support Specialist (13F)
Explosive Ordnance Disposal Specialist (89D)
Petroleum Supply Specialist (92F)
Cannon Crew member (13B)
Field Artillery Tactical Data Systems Specialist (13D)
Multiple Launch Rocket System Crew member (13M)
Crypto Linguist-Analyst (98X)
Food Service Operations (92G)
Motor Transport Operator (88M)
Field Artillery Firefinder Radar Operator (13R)
Cavalry Scout (19D)
Satellite Communications Systems Operator-Maintainer (25S)
Special Forces Candidate (18X)
Infantryman (11X)
Air Defense Command, Control, Communications, Computers and Intelligence Tactical Operations Center Operator/Maintainer (14J)
Don't worry about it! By the time you get over there they might have body armour for you!
Education
One of the most important benefits you can have as a Soldier is receiving money to further your education or pay off an existing student loan. While skills training in the Army is always a priority, so is encouraging Soldiers to attend college or take continuing education courses.
The following programs are available to all qualified applicants whether you're an Active Duty Soldier or in the Army Reserve.
The Army offers several opportunities for its Soldiers--whether you're on Active Duty or in the Army Reserve--to attend classes while being a Soldier.
The Army partners with over 1,600 community colleges and four-year universities, so you can attend college either during or after your Army service.
You can also take college courses through online correspondence. You can take courses for college credit, earn certifications or further your Army training. The Army will provide the computer and you can learn through a virtual classroom.
What? No, sure you'll make it home. We might ask you to stay a little longer than you agreed to at the beginning, but hey, it's about freedom, right?
Health Care and Time Off!
Health Care!
As a Soldier, you and your family can receive medical and dental care at little or no cost. You can receive treatment within the Army's network of hospitals and clinics.
The official military health insurance provider is called Tricare. It is available for all Active Duty Enlisted and Officers.
Time Off!
Soldiers on Active Duty receive:
30 days vacation earned annually
Weekends free
National holidays
Sick days as needed
Soldiers on Active Duty have 30 days vacation earned annually. Depending on your job, weekends and national holidays are also paid leave.
Did I tell you about the wonderful food?
Ho hum- I should've joined the army, since I'm for the war.....got anything new? God, I'm so sick of that argument. Really. You can apply it to anything- gee, if you are concerned with crime, you should go join the police, right?
ReplyDeleteWhat do you people think the army is for? It's for murdering people- that's the the army does. Do you think kids join the army so they can just sit on their ass and do nothing?
As for me or the "chickenhawks" I return to an argument I made a while ago- if Bush is so wicked and evil- if Republicans really are "theocrats" who are going to destroy the country, then you need to pick up a gun and try to kill as many of us as you can. Otherwise, we, being so all powerful, are going to win, aren't we?
If some 18 year old kid gets killed in Iraq, I don't care. Really. It's his job to kill and possibly be killed- if he didn't know that when he signed up, then he deserves to die. You have no sense of brutality and that's why you will lose and lose and lose- the army that kills the most, that causes the most unmitigated pain and misery to the other side is the army that wins, as Von Clausewitz told us.
I don't believe Mr. Logic Monkey lives in my community. There are some fine people living in Durham. I wonder if he's friends with the folks that just burned a few crosses in town...
ReplyDeletewhat were YOU thinking ? Did you think they would tell you the truth ? If you forget the lessons of the past, then you are doomed to repeat the mistakes made once before...it's that simple folks...THEY DON'T WANT US THERE...ANY QUESTIONS ???
ReplyDelete