Thanks Pat.
This weekend's catastrophic earthquake in South Asia in the wake of recent U.S. hurricanes and December's tsunami is catching the eye of televangelist Pat Robertson, who says we "might be" in the End Times described in the Bible.
"These things are starting to hit with amazing regularity," Robertson said on CNN's "Late Edition."
Robertson, a former GOP presidential candidate and host of the "700 Club" daily Christian TV show, noted, "If you read back in the Bible, the letter of the apostle Paul to the church of Thessalonia, he said that in the latter days before the end of the age that the Earth would be caught up in what he called the birth pangs of a new order. And for anybody who knows what it's like to have a wife going into labor, you know how these labor pains begin to hit. I don't have any special word that says this is that, but it could be suspiciously like that."
"What was called the blessed hope of the Bible is that one day Jesus Christ would come back again, start a whole new era, that this world order that we know would change into something that would be wonderful that we'd call the millennium," he continued. "And before that good time comes there will be some difficult days and there will be likened to what a woman goes through in labor just before she brings forth a child."
Does this mean that I can stop worrying about terrorism now? The question is why does Jesus need to announce his imminent return with earthquakes and hurricanes?These are things that we have scientific explanations for that simply do not create the kind of wonder and awe that one would want to instill in the people of the world before the End of Days, you know?
Wouldn't the desired effect be much better achieved by causing the Alps and the Himalayas to disappear overnight some fall evening?
Can you imagine the news the next day? There would be no easy explanations about low pressure systems or tectonic plates on that day. It would just be pictures of geologists and other scientific types with a "oops, I pooped my pants" look on their faces.
Besides, isn't Pat busy trying to assassinate Hugo Chavez? Pat should stop worrying about the weather and figure out how to finish his list of who Jesus would assassinate. Until then, I wish he would please just shut the hell up.
-The Oklahoma Hippy
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